What I've Learned From Being In A Supportive Relationship

Can I be transparent with you?

Before I did the inner work to transform my life and become a life coach, there was a time where I gave my energy to relationships that were toxic and damaging. My clients have found themselves in similar situations and often find themselves struggling to find a happier romantic balance.

With the right kind of partner, you can have a healthier love life but that requires some changes from you. Here’s what I have learned about healthy relationships:

Submission Isn’t Scary
If you are anything like me, you too may have battled with trust, love, and vulnerability. You’ve likely heard that women don’t need men and that women are more than capable of doing it all alone.

In my ongoing transformation, I’ve learned that it’s okay to let your partner lead. You do not have to do it all alone; support or even leadership from your partner is a beautiful thing.

How to Admit Flaws
My previous relationships taught me to be defensive and stubborn. The hurt I had inside had found its way into my love life. In a healthy relationship, I’ve learned that your partner should speak life confidence and love into your soul.

You don’t need to be bossy or controlling to be heard. That is your old self battling trauma and limiting your growth. In my case, that behavior stemmed from 10-year-old Darra, who had to provide for younger family members and 17-year-old Darra who couldn’t communicate.

The transformed version of you should be able to speak. He or she should be able to listen...and he or she should work with their partner to move forward.

How to Let Go of My Ego
The experiences we endure during our younger years are largely responsible for how we behave in our relationships. For me, that translated into controlling behavior that I’ve had to let go.

What you’ll realize is that not everything requires a “slick” response. Not everything requires your anger or impatience. If you find that you and your partner are in a constant “power struggle,” you may want to ask yourself if ego is at the center of your problems.

Learn to let go. Learn to communicate. Find peace with your partner instead of arguments, yelling, or painfully awkward silence.

xoxo ,
Darra Michelle
🖤